Bar Review of the Month: The Hutch

This month's Bar review took place on my lunch hour at work for a few reasons. One, because I thought it would be fun to let people know the different kind of places out in Portland to find good food and activities. Two, because the waitress was super bitchy when I first came in and I thought I would spice things up and make her worried that I was with the Mercury or something. Let's just say when I started writing the review and she saw, service got stellar.

So this month's review takes place at The Hutch on 4606 Northeast Glisan St in Portland Oregon. This is located right across the street from Providence Portland Hospital. Hence, that is were I stopped in for lunch on my hour lunch period. At first glance I thought it was just a dive bar, which it is, but with some very different extras and a fun atmosphere.

At first look inside I noticed a very nice ambiance that made me feel like I was in some pub located in another country on a side alley were everyone went to drink. The bar tender/ waitress was wearing long black biking stretchy pants and one of those European biking shirts, you know what I mean. Tight, neon stripes down the sides, and looking like she was about to bike a marathon. She had short pixie cut blond hair and I am not going to assume she was a lesbian, but she was (joke).

When I came in I asked for a menu and she seemed bothered that I didn't already know what I wanted by just being in the location. She asked if I wanted a drink and I said "No, I have to go back to work and they frown upon that." in which she responded with a eye rolling glance and walked away. The wonderful orange lights hanging from the table warmed me from the cold of the bar staff.

The menu she handed me was filled with a lot of variety that I would not assume to see in a dive like this. I was thinking onion rings, chicken strips, and some sort of slider. The prices were a bit higher then I thought I would find at a bar or pub, but the selection was worth it. I found many entrees including delicious choices like fried clams, which i quickly ordered. I requested a water and sat down to wait for my food. She seemed to be getting bitchier by the moment, so I whipped out my legal pad and started looking around the restaurant and writing things down. I titled the page Monthly Restaurant/Bar Review and jotted notes. She came over to give me more water and I saw her glance at the paper. Suddenly service improved ten fold. She then brought over fresh silverware, a napkin, ketchup (which I quickly pushed to the other side of the table, being I am no longer able to eat it after my father told me horror stories of grandpa's days working at the ketchup factory. You don't wanna know. Thanks dad.) and dipping sauces.

I looked around the wall and found a lot of interesting information you may want to know about this hidden treasure.

1. Portlandia showing @ location every Friday night @ 10pm.
2. Karaoke Thur/Fri/Sat nights @ 9
3. Trivia Wednesday nights @ 8pm
4. Happy Hour 4-7pm Every Day
5. Taco Thursdays
6. Everyday Cash specials
    a. $1 PBR
    b. $2 Drink of the day
    c. $3 Micro Brew of the day

This gives the average bar goer many choices every night of the week to socialize and wet their whistle. The music playing during lunch consisted of oldies and soft rock, so it was easy to concentrate on the food and atmosphere and would be easy to socialize with others as well. There was ample seating, but the array of furniture almost made the inside look like a rummage sale or a thrift shop.

Finally my food arrived, and my newly friendly bar staff told me to enjoy and smiled very nicely. I think I may write a review every time I go out now so that I can get amazing service. The food was good, not excellent, but pretty darn good. I wasn't making enjoyment moaning noises as I ate like I have at some restaurants, but I was smiling while I chewed, except when I bit into the coleslaw. Not only was it flavorless, it seemed to be stiff and had little to no sauce, nothing but cabbage in a bowl. So I passed on that one. The fried clam strips were amazing. They were crispy, had great spice, and made me want to savor each and every one. My only complaint was that the cook through them on top of the fries and must have them mixed them with some tongues, because I felt like I was Harrison Ford in Raiders of the Lost Ark, desperately searching for any clams that may be hidden from my knowledge. The fries were average but very crispy, which I love. The highlight of the lunch was the amazing dipping sauce for the clams. It was tangy, spicy, and like shrimp sauce all at the same time. I'm sure it comes pre-made in a store bought bottle, but if I could get my hands on it I would keep it in stock at all times.

So all in all with each individual category of style, food, events, and staff, I would give The Hutch a 7.5 out of 10. It passes, but wouldn't be my first pick of places to go. Until next time, waiters and waitresses be wary, cause there just might be a fake food inspector in your fine dining establishment.

Underground Artist of the Week: ALB Muzic

This weeks underground artist of the weeks' review is ALB Muzic. I had not heard of them before, but googeling underground Portland artists popped them up on a site first and so here we go. ALB Muzic is said to be big in the NW scene. On first look they appear to be well groomed guys who have at least enough profit from their music career to take good photos, which is something many underground artists are not investing in these days. Take advice from me Portland underground sceners, you want good photos to sell your art.
So I went to their soundcloud to see what this group had to offer and found 7 songs uploaded in 2011. Starting with the first song "What more can I say" I immediately noticed that this did not sound like studio quality beats, so from here on out  I will assume they are making these beats at home on a computer. I will not knock that, being I know many people that do, I just suggest people use quality programs if this is there only option.
Song 1 on the soundcloud was called "What More Can I Say" and that is exactly what I was thinking. The vocals are promising and I can see talent in the group, but the song itself lacked content. I wasn't sure at times what they were even saying. Not because I am not up on the local slang, but because the sentences seemed fragmented and unrecognizable, somewhat like Lil Troy's Baller, Shot Caller., which is and will always be Bunny and I's favorite song, but it is impossible to understand or even know what they say from one sentence to another.
There next song was called "Like a Drummer" which was a reference to fucking a girl like a drum. Definitely a fun play on something that most rappers have found a hundred ways to say, but I have never heard the reference of being done "like a drum" before and it did make me crack a smile. The song itself was again in need of some pronunciation, but had promise.
Song # 3 was called "So fly" and unfortunately it wasn't so fly and I ended up changing the song by minute 2:32,but not due to vocals again but repetitive lyrics that lacked something for me to relate to and really feel, so that it made me want to hit repeat till I was sick of it. Something that drives me about music is it's ability to bring you back to a place and time in your life that you can remember exactly what you were doing the minute you heard that song, and the songs I am hearing here are not inspiring life events for me, but they have potential with some fine tuning.
All in all I would give ALB Muzic a 5 out of 10 with what I listened to on Soundcloud. I will say that I may not have heard more up to date music, maybe this was early in their career and we all know how music grows and matures, but for the point of this blog I take what I find first. I look forward to seeing if there is more music by this band online and to see if they have grown over the last few years. Their vocals had definite talent and their beats were not the worst I had heard, we just need to work on being able to understand their lyrics in their songs. Til next week, when I may uncover the secrets of another local underground artist.

Complaint Department..take a number!

We don't book hip hop. We don't book hip hop? But I go online and I see that you have 10 shows over the next two months with hip hop artist??? Oh they call themselves urban now? You can call a duck a dog and it ain't gonna make it bark!!

Why don't you just say we won't book YOUR hip hop..cause you have a beef or your friend's cousin's girlfriend's boss's babysitter said that you once called her fat and you are on a mission to not book that band ever again. You are not the only venue in the area and if you continue to shut every out but your roommates band we will pass the word around and shut you out.

Entertainment can't be stopped, but it can evolve. So while you figure out how to pass the Urban label off to your boss we already booked a great show at another venue that will profit majorly by not mixing business with pleasure, assholes!!

Hopsin Re-Invents Halloween on Oct 28th 2012 Portland OR

Hopsin live @ Hawthorne Theater Oct 28th 2012
Tickets $15 adv VIP $35/meet and greet
Tickets avail thru Cascadia tickets or save $ service charge through local artists @ 503-753-8737

Halloween is a time of year when things that hide in the dark come into the light and this is no exception for up and coming artist Hopsin.  Hopsin is a man of many trades who is re-inventing himself many times over and is showing the world that he is a talent to be reckoned with. Hopsin is a MC, producer, director, actor, and editor just to name a few. He has swept the nation recently with heart stopping videos and amazing lyrics that are hard to beat. His talent and showmanship are not for the faint of heart and his lyrics do not hold back a truth that Hopsin needs to share with his fans and with nay-sayers alike.

With songs like "Sag My Pants" Hopsin pushes the envelope and lets people know he is not afraid to call people out in his line of work. Hopsin collaborates with a Bullette Music favorite, Tech N9ne, on the song  "Am I A Psycho?". 

Hopsin pushed through with little support from others and a drive that pushed him through the sea of no's into a world of yes's on the music scene. When Portland promoter Mike Thrasher hit me up about booking Hopsin in Portland, I gave a big Hell Yes to the idea. Hopsin is a national secret that needs to be brought out into the light. Portland will never be the same once he is released into our streets. I foresee Hopsin's fan base growing with leaps and bounds in the coming years and his talent growing with it.

Local favorite Tragedy 503 will join Hopsin on his Portland debut and I hope the end result is a collaboration and friendship between Funk Volume and Tragedy 503 Promotions that will result in success for both parties. We look forward to seeing all the Funk Volume artists and seeing what this dark Halloween has in store for us, so hide your kids and check your candy, cause I foresee something wicked waiting for us.

Take 'Em To School with Kutt Calhoun of Strange Music

Kutt Calhoun Takes over Salem OR

Salem, OR has a true Hip Hop talent hitting their area next month on Sept 6th. None other then Bloody Kutty from Strange Music. Kutt is doing a one time show at Moonlight Events on 4764 Portland Rd NE in Salem OR. This will be the only stop in the Portland/Eugene are for Kutt Calhoun, so you do not want to miss out on this amazing event. Tickets are $20 in advance or 2 for $30. The event has limited space so hurry and grab your tickets before they are gone. You can purchase tickets from local artists playing the show: Tragedy 503, KNOTHEAD, Beatwalkers, Ebonix, Strophik, and S!lent or by texting booking and promotions at 503-753-8737.

Kutt Calhoun is working on releasing a new EP later this year that will be completely produced by Seven. This will be a work that we should all be on the look out this year. Kutt talks about his new EP on the Strange blog site. Here is a little piece straight from the rappers mouth,

 "I’m in the midst of doing music right now. I got mixtapes in the making and I’ll be doing another studio album here soon. I’ll be getting these mixtapes out of the way and EP, then I’m going to focus on another studio album that’s going to blow everybody’s top. I strive to get better and better. If people thought Raw And Un-Kutt was my best shit or a lot of people thought Feature Presentation was a classic, I’m going to keep getting better and better. There’s more to come. Kutt Calhoun ain’t about to die down anytime soon. "-taken from Kutt's blog

Strange fans alike will have a new EP to anticipate and more amazing songs from an artist who continues to push the bar with his music. Kutt is not afraid to say what everyone is thinking with songs like "Smiling Faces" from Kutt's cd Featured Presentation put out in 2008.

Kutt is a fan favorite at Tech N9ne shows as well. The crowd goes wild with anticipation as we hear Michael Jackson come over the loud speaker and know that Kutt and Tech are about to bring back a blast from the past with hip hop moves and moon walk elegance. Kutt is a favorite with the ladies as well, as heard in his song "Bunk Rock Bitch" from Featured Presentation (2008). Kutt will be a fan favorite along with some other artists at this main event.

Also featured at this main event is local legends Tragedy 503 and Knothead. Tragdy 503 comes from Portland OR and has a long history of working with members of Strange music going back as far as 2003. Tragedy and Strange music are much like family, as heard in their collaboration songs like "Snuff You" and "Fatal Attraction".
Knothead is also no stranger to the Strange Music scene. He has worked with and collaborated with the artists for many years, holding down the Washington area with a stance few others can compete with. Knothead is also playing on Kutt Calhoun's second stop on this tour in Townsend WA on his Calling My Name Tour Sept 7th 2012.

Special guests also featured at this event are Beatwalkers, Ebonix, Strophik, and S!lent.

Feel free to bring your geek out for this back to school event. Girls in glasses and school girl shorts and guys in suspenders and bow ties will in the streets in anticipation for this amazing events, and pay attention because yes, there will be a test later!!