So this month's review takes place at The Hutch on 4606 Northeast Glisan St in Portland Oregon. This is located right across the street from Providence Portland Hospital. Hence, that is were I stopped in for lunch on my hour lunch period. At first glance I thought it was just a dive bar, which it is, but with some very different extras and a fun atmosphere.
At first look inside I noticed a very nice ambiance that made me feel like I was in some pub located in another country on a side alley were everyone went to drink. The bar tender/ waitress was wearing long black biking stretchy pants and one of those European biking shirts, you know what I mean. Tight, neon stripes down the sides, and looking like she was about to bike a marathon. She had short pixie cut blond hair and I am not going to assume she was a lesbian, but she was (joke).
When I came in I asked for a menu and she seemed bothered that I didn't already know what I wanted by just being in the location. She asked if I wanted a drink and I said "No, I have to go back to work and they frown upon that." in which she responded with a eye rolling glance and walked away. The wonderful orange lights hanging from the table warmed me from the cold of the bar staff.
The menu she handed me was filled with a lot of variety that I would not assume to see in a dive like this. I was thinking onion rings, chicken strips, and some sort of slider. The prices were a bit higher then I thought I would find at a bar or pub, but the selection was worth it. I found many entrees including delicious choices like fried clams, which i quickly ordered. I requested a water and sat down to wait for my food. She seemed to be getting bitchier by the moment, so I whipped out my legal pad and started looking around the restaurant and writing things down. I titled the page Monthly Restaurant/Bar Review and jotted notes. She came over to give me more water and I saw her glance at the paper. Suddenly service improved ten fold. She then brought over fresh silverware, a napkin, ketchup (which I quickly pushed to the other side of the table, being I am no longer able to eat it after my father told me horror stories of grandpa's days working at the ketchup factory. You don't wanna know. Thanks dad.) and dipping sauces.
I looked around the wall and found a lot of interesting information you may want to know about this hidden treasure.
1. Portlandia showing @ location every Friday night @ 10pm.
2. Karaoke Thur/Fri/Sat nights @ 9
3. Trivia Wednesday nights @ 8pm
4. Happy Hour 4-7pm Every Day
5. Taco Thursdays
6. Everyday Cash specials
a. $1 PBR
b. $2 Drink of the day
c. $3 Micro Brew of the day
This gives the average bar goer many choices every night of the week to socialize and wet their whistle. The music playing during lunch consisted of oldies and soft rock, so it was easy to concentrate on the food and atmosphere and would be easy to socialize with others as well. There was ample seating, but the array of furniture almost made the inside look like a rummage sale or a thrift shop.
Finally my food arrived, and my newly friendly bar staff told me to enjoy and smiled very nicely. I think I may write a review every time I go out now so that I can get amazing service. The food was good, not excellent, but pretty darn good. I wasn't making enjoyment moaning noises as I ate like I have at some restaurants, but I was smiling while I chewed, except when I bit into the coleslaw. Not only was it flavorless, it seemed to be stiff and had little to no sauce, nothing but cabbage in a bowl. So I passed on that one. The fried clam strips were amazing. They were crispy, had great spice, and made me want to savor each and every one. My only complaint was that the cook through them on top of the fries and must have them mixed them with some tongues, because I felt like I was Harrison Ford in Raiders of the Lost Ark, desperately searching for any clams that may be hidden from my knowledge. The fries were average but very crispy, which I love. The highlight of the lunch was the amazing dipping sauce for the clams. It was tangy, spicy, and like shrimp sauce all at the same time. I'm sure it comes pre-made in a store bought bottle, but if I could get my hands on it I would keep it in stock at all times.
So all in all with each individual category of style, food, events, and staff, I would give The Hutch a 7.5 out of 10. It passes, but wouldn't be my first pick of places to go. Until next time, waiters and waitresses be wary, cause there just might be a fake food inspector in your fine dining establishment.
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